Telling Her Story to Help Others
We all experience events in our lives that challenge us beyond our levels of comfort and acceptance. How we handle these experiences shapes us, and allows us to find new hope in times of adversity.
In 1999, Marylen Segel Oberman was diagnosed with cancer. Just a few short years before, her dear husband, Dr. Harold A. Oberman, had been diagnosed as well. While Marylen successfully beat her cancer, her husband was not as fortunate, and he succumbed to the illness at age 72. Despite having a profound sense of resilience from previous life challenges (including a horrific car accident), as well as a successful career as a professional psychologist, Oberman was devastated by the loss of her husband and experienced profound sadness.
“It was hard to cope with such a loss, but part of my healing from his death and other challenges in my life came from something very simple: journaling. I always told my patients to journal, so I began to do the same and it helped me greatly,” said Oberman.
Oberman’s journaling turned into a book, Crash Course: Life Lessons That Got Me Back on My Feet, about her own experiences dealing with adversity in her life. She found that by telling her story, she could be the catalyst for others to share their own.
“Every time I do a book reading or a speaking engagement, I find that people come up to me and want to share their story with me,” said Oberman. “They feel empowered and able to do their ‘own work’ when they see someone else who has struggled like them.”
It is this confidence in the power of a story that guided Oberman to make a unique gift to the University of Michigan Depression Center in which willing patients, family members and clinicians affected by depression and related illnesses will be able to share their own personal stories of resilience via a special video journal project. The videos will be made into a compilation of stories and given to patients and their families in need of emotional support. It will also be available as a teaching tool for the Medical School and Nursing Schools. The project is being led by Claire Weiner, LMSW and Michelle Riba, M.D., M.S., and videoed by Steve Haskin, M.F.A.
“You have to learn to allow others to help you and to gather the world of friends and family around you in order to feel better, and that can include a few people or many, many people. Whatever your story, we all have something to share, which can not only help yourself heal but might just help someone else,” said Oberman. By creating these videos, Oberman believes patients will be able to see how others have learned to cope with similar struggles, and that this will help them feel more positive about their own efforts.
“Crash Course: Life Lessons That Got Me Back on My Feet” is published by Huron River Press. Dr. Oberman has graciously promised proceeds from her book to the U-M Depression Center.
